POV someone asks you how you're doing?
When people ask me ”what's up?” or “what's new?” I start sweating. inside my head. What exactly are they asking? Which version of myself do they want today?
Do they wanna hear about the endless piles of laundry I can't seem to bring under control, or about whatever new project I'm cooking up, or another cutesy yet possibly yawn-inducing anecdote about my children, or maybe my hot take on local or global issues?
Maybe they want to hear about the fact that I've cried. Cried a lot. My former student just died. My father in law. My uncle. My uncle. My partner's nephew. My colleague. My friend and mentor. My aunt. My friend. My community elder. My. My. My. My.
I feel isolated. afraid. resigned.
“What's new?” is like “So where are you from?” Or “What do you do?”. It throws me into a mental marketplace. In my head I'm running from here to there, looking for who’s selling what I’m buying. What REALLY do you want to know? HOW MUCH time do we have? WHAT really do you want to KNOW? I'm running, and the meat seller is shouting, “Why are u running? Why are you running?”
Alas I respond, “Everything... and Nothing”. Because it's too hard and difficult to describe the peeling and jagged layers of my broken heart. Too futile to illustrate the silent moments when I’m decidedly so full of joy, that I start squinting. But really, it’s because I’m low-key ashamed to admit that a good chunk of my time is spent sitting on the toilet scrolling the nether regions of social media.
So, what’s new? What have I been up to? Well you take your pick:
If my general state of being and wellness is what gets you going, then you’d wanna know that since August this year, I've been committing to weekly acupuncture & physical therapy appointments, drinking my water warm, masturbating when I can't fall back asleep, setting a bedtime alarm (which I've been ignoring recently ), limiting my news intake/engagement, and doing the best I motherfucking can.
If external institutional validation of my existence is your choice stimulant, then I will share that in the past year I am Creatives-In-Place Fellow, an Izzies Awardee, a YBCA 100 Honoree, and a 2021 New England Foundation for the Arts' National Dance Project Awardee.
If the minute and mundane is how you get down, then yes I color code my spreadsheets, make and cross off multiple to-do lists, fold laundry while watching ‘bingeable low-drama shows on the interwebs’, alphabetize my spice rack, and yes still trying to complete that basement & attic organizing project for the past 6 months & counting.
If my creative & cultural projects is what floats your boat, then know that I've been working on a new project about Death & Mourning practices in Igbo & Afro-Urban cultures, creating a coloring book about Notable & Notorious Nigerian Women, realizing Afro Culture Kids (curriculum & camps for kids of African descent), and directing Afro dance cypher videos in the Bay.
If what I do for fun or escape tickles your fancy, then know that I am certainly watching any comedy/romance movie or show I can get my hands on Youtube, Netflix, BET+, and beyond, and reading romance novels with African characters via OkadaBooks. Ask me for my watch spreadsheet.
If my employment situation is what keeps you up, then know that despite hanging on by the broken handle of a mug, I’m happily on that 1099 life, still engaged with Afro Urban Society, BoomShake Music, House/Full of Black Women and other projects/activities that acknowledge the beauty of my presence, align with my spiritual discernment, and match the energy of my bride price. Also, waiting for Issa Rae to DM.
That said, if you're the kinda somebody who likes to TAP In, and let your presence be known, then baby I got some stuff for you and here’s a bit of it:
Dance With Me
I doing a rare teaching appearance with my Gbedu Town favs a part of a Bay Area legacy event #MalongaFest presented by Fua Dia Congo x Kongo SQ West
$6 Afro Urban Dance Workshop w/ Gbedu Town Steppaz
Tue, Nov 30 2021 | 6:00 - 7:30PM
Malonga Casquelourd Center, 2nd Fl Studio A | 1428 Alice Street, Oakland
Masks Required!
Help me birth a wonderful book into the world.
My 9yr old child and I created a coloring book featuring Notable & Notorious Nigerian Women, and we need DOLLLARSSSSSSS to get it made. Please support our All or Nothing kickstarter campaign.
Donate to Get the Notable & Notorious Book Made
Talk to me about death & mourning
As part of my project ‘Obi gbawara’m//My Heart Shattered or What happens after I die?’ I'm documenting conversations with people of African descent, and hosting a series of creative sessions on death and mourning rituals. Let me know if you wanna talk, or book me to facilitate a session.
And if you got all the way here, then eyyyyyyy. 3 gbosas for all the people who hold you up.
Sending a reminder to drink your water. Ignore the people trying to rob your peace. And 1 time this week stunt on the unbelievers.
ka ọ dịrị,
nkeiruka.